Always. Never.

It’s easy to accuse someone of ‘always’ or ‘never’ behaving a particular way that offends us.

A person we’ve just met, perhaps in a meeting, enthusiastically prosecutes a view we don’t agree with. Or they’re late. Or they make a mistake. Or they are directly critical of a position we’ve taken; perhaps constructively and reasonably, perhaps not.

If you met President Kennedy during the Bay of Pigs fiasco, you would come away thinking he was weak - as did President Khrushchev of the Soviet Union. If you sat with him amidst the Cuban Missile Crisis - you would think him cool under pressure.

Sadly, many of us, often unknowingly, are characterised by others, and characterise them, based on a single experience. We are denied, and deny them, what the Law calls ‘procedural fairness’ - the opportunity to hear and address the adverse case against us. We go through life with both them and us robbed of the opportunity for a relationship, and to learn and mature from our first impressions.

Because of ‘Always’ or ‘Never’.

Previous
Previous

The Courage to Step Back.

Next
Next

Name, Rank, and Browser Activity.