Scared.

'Make the time to be scared of more interesting things.'

- Merlin Mann

Watching TV at 8.37pm on a Wednesday when my phone announced an email and I nearly vomited.

At my desk at 2.50pm when I'm summonsed by the boss and I pocket my shaking hands.

Exiting the ceiling loft at 11.15 on a Saturday morning watching work scenes in my head instead of the ladder and stepping into space and falling five metres onto a plastic bin and then concrete. 

I lay on my side for ten minutes wiggling my toes and visualising my spine and ribs and pulling plastic shards from my clothes and feeling reincarnated.

Work had nearly killed me.

I thought of the Merlin Mann quote. 

The earth had slammed me into its bosom demanding I make time to think about my fear dividend. 

Slumped in a car outside a chemist with a searing headache after a second day of prosecuting two military pilots. Stressed. Out of my depth. Thriving. 

Sitting at a boardroom table next to the Chief Operating Officer facing off ten government and commercial lawyers opposite and the contract that would make or break our start-up company in stalemate. Stomach churning. Overwhelmed. Thrilling.

Emails about inaccurate staff leave accounting making me nauseous? Ridiculous.

Calls about not filling out an HR form correctly constricting my breathing? Embarrassing. 

Peter Block says 'The price of freedom is anxiety.' Any decision worthwhile will make us scared. The key is to Step Back and confirm that our Widget is worth it.